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Travelin' Man
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11/05/2009 - l:07 PM
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by Pete Bodo
Mornin', and sheesh - when was the last time we talked about Roger Federer? You know, Swiss dude. Used to dye his hair orange. Works for some chocolate factory - Lindt, is it? Guy whose reputation was destroyed by some blogger who didn't like Federer's Wimbledon wardrobe BUT GAVE METH FREAK ANDRE AGASSI A FREE PASS!!!!!! Talk about vicious and unfair!
Yeah. That Federer. I imagine a fair number of tennis pros who woke up this morning and checked the Internet suddenly lost their appetite for low-carb Muesli with mango and pomegranate when they saw that Federer has released his schedule for 2010, and it's loaded with 18 events. So much for the idea of putting up your feet (or getting down on the carpet to watch Sesame Street with the little ones) after you've clocked your record 15th Grand Slam title. Call him Mr. Tennis if you like, but I'm calling the Dubai Bureau of Special Services for Women and Children to report him. No children, least of all lovely young twins, should be abandoned by their father. Statistic show that later in life, children raised by Slovak women who have been tennis pros are at-risk for addiction to Jonas Brothers CDs. Federer will begin his assault on the Grand Slam. . . Wait a minute. There's nothing for the guy to assault - unless you count Davis Cup, that wacky little event with two appendixes and remnants of a prehensile tail. And he's clearly not into that. 34-32 in the fifth set against some no name Equadorian - who needs it? The only thing Federer seems to have penciled into the time slot occupied by Davis Cup week 1, between the Australian Open and the Indian Wells Masters 1000 event, is a home court appearance in Dubai.
By then, Federer ought to have mastered Arabic; he's playing Abu Dhabi (starting Christmas Eve; I have a feeling they won't have a Creche at the airport), Doha, and, after a quick side trip to Melbourbe, Australia, Dubai. Hey, somebody's got to pay for all those onesies, right? And let's face it, why square off against Rafael Nadal on Spanish clay with all those kings and princes looking on when you could just go and beat up on Andy Roddick and Novak Djokovic under the appreciative gaze of mega-rich sheiks who don't get this whole "fifteen-love" thing anyway?
This year, there will be no drive-by appearance in Monte Carlo (to hail with all those PR guys from the watch company - tell them I'm out of the office!). Federer will begin his big push to add another French Open bauble to the trophy cas. . . warehouse. . . in Rome.
Why Rome? Ever had the pasta in the player lounge there? 'Nuf said. Then it's on to Estoril, Madrid and Roland Garros. Why Estoril? Ever had to work off a week of pasta, available 24/7, for free? 'Nuf said. After visiting Roland Garros, Federer will spend some quality time with Gerry Weber (I think he's the guy who invented the barbecue grill; you know, that cheap thing that wobbles like crazy on those aluminum legs and plastic wheels). He'll also swing by Wimbledon to pick up his seventh - or is it 11th, or 15th? - title. You do tend to lose track after a while. It appears that the lure of corn dogs and beer pong is one that Federer can resist. He's not going anywhere near Indianapolis, but he'll play Toronto, a northern suburb of Detriot, Mich., and Cincinnati (just to rub the noses of those hicks down in Indy a little further into it). He's going to arrive in New York in a litter, wearing a fez, and a Nehru jacket emblazoned with somewhere between 15 and 18 buttons depicting Greek gods (the number depends on how things work out in Melbourne, Paris and London). The names of the six lucky litter bearers will be drawn out of a hat, with every one of the ATP Top Twenty having an equal chance to be picked! A few weeks after that, Federer will set sail for Shanghai, hoping he might meet Madonna (I hear she's making a sequel, the first one was so good!). He'll finish the year up in Basel and Bercy. According to his representatives at IMG, Federer was on the fence about Bercy, until he learned that the French Tennis Federation is building a new stadium for the event. It will be a 450-foot bust of Federer; ticket holders will enter through the "It's A Pity" portal cleverly built into the mouth. Plans to have a corporate hospitality lounge in each nostril have forced the architects to eliminate the planned nose hairs, for the sake of ticket-holder comfort. The court will, in effect, exist in the space occupied by the brain pan in the typical human being's head. Then, at the Tennis Master's Cup, the ATP is planning a special ceremony to honor Federer. Special guests will include a dancer who appeared in the late Michael Jackson's Thriller video and has gone on to win a seat in Germany's parliament. Also, Federer's wife and their two daughters. A tele-prompter will be available, should Federer need to be reminded of their names, Wimby and Meadow.
My advice to everyone else on the ATP Tour? Throw that granola and fruit into the trash and get yourself a big fat bacon, egg and cheese sandwich on an everything bagel.
What difference does it make? Oh, and in late-breaking news: Federer also plans to compete on the F-1 racing circuit this year, driving in every race but the Sebastapol Grand Prix, for Team Kia.
PS - Those of you who choose to drift into high dudgeon may now do so. Talk about whatever you like below.
1249 Comments
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Posted by Andrew |
11/05/2009 at 12:11 PM |
Morning, Pete. I always preferred low dudgeon myself.
Prepare for lots of grumbling on RF.com about this act of lese-majeste. Actually, Federer has looked quite good at Basel so far, though I'm not sure it portends any more for 2010 than your "analysis" above. :-) |
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Posted by me |
11/05/2009 at 12:20 PM |
GAH-unreadable drivel. you are so not funny or clever!!!! |
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Posted by Annie (Vamos Heavenly Creature) |
11/05/2009 at 12:22 PM |
This doesn't really mean anything does it pete? He can always drop out of a couple of events as the season moves on. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 12:23 PM |
Thanks Pete
Roger to compete in F1 driving race? goodness me buckle up Roger.
Though he does own my fav car a Aston Martin Major Sigh! |
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Posted by Annie (Vamos Heavenly Creature) |
11/05/2009 at 12:25 PM |
I think pete was joking about the F-1 driving, AM. |
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Posted by Genuine Realist |
11/05/2009 at 12:27 PM |
I too detected a certain lack of reverence in this article.
The amount of activity is both surprising and welcome. The tennis scene seems somehow deflated without him. |
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Posted by lollipop (rafelfole forever) |
11/05/2009 at 12:28 PM |
ok, this was weird. but whatever. I just wanna see a Nole-Roger final in Roger Federer Arena. |
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Posted by Master Ace |
11/05/2009 at 12:30 PM |
Bali Order of Play for Friday
Samantha Stosur vs Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez at 1 AM - Winner advances to the semifinals
Sabine Lisicki vs Melinda Czink - Aravane Rezai won Group D
Marion Bartoli vs Shahar Peer at 5:30 AM - Winner advances to the semifinals
Yanina Wickmayer vs Anabel Medina Garrigues - If Yanina wins one set, she will advance to the semifinals. If Anabel wins in straight sets, this group will be decided by percentage of games won.
United States at Italy on Saturday at 5 AM
All matches will be televised live on Tennis Channel
Order to be determined at draw
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 12:32 PM |
Annie Pete never jokes. |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 12:35 PM |
Gasquet playing well against Isner, with some lovely shot-making, but no breaks and Isner to serve at 3-4.
As for Pete's: too juvenile for me to even bother with a reply. |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 12:36 PM |
Good afternoon, everyone,
Thanks, Pete ... but you are in a "strange" mood today! |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 12:36 PM |
Is there live streams to the Bali tournament at all please |
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Posted by Master Ace |
11/05/2009 at 12:38 PM |
Aussiemarg,
Word has it that streams will not be available until the semifinals on Saturday. |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 12:38 PM |
And Isner breaks and will serve for the set at 5-4. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 12:38 PM |
Lynne Maybe its the "aftermath of Halloween" does strange and weird things to people lol! |
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Posted by just a note |
11/05/2009 at 12:39 PM |
Many wanted to know what motivated AA to write his book the way he did, divulging what he did.
I'd like to know what motivated Pete to write this piece. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 12:39 PM |
Thanks Master Ace,typical isnt it.Well I will have to just use the SB. |
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Posted by Jamaica Karen (Happy for the Yankees and especially Derek Jeter) |
11/05/2009 at 12:41 PM |
Good news guys, the cable company is on their way, the utilities company is on their way and my really good bed is on its way. Could life get any better. I have to pinch myself today - yaay |
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Posted by me |
11/05/2009 at 12:41 PM |
just a note-that answer is easy and obvious. pete hates fed with a white hot passion. |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 12:41 PM |
Isner takes the first set 6-4, with 85% of first serves in. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 12:45 PM |
Karen Hi,great news.Especially about the bed.I used to take my fav pillow with me when I travelled o/seas.I hated the hotel's pillows.I would wake up with a sore neck lol! |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 12:46 PM |
Aussiemarg:
How did things go yesterday?? |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 12:50 PM |
Gasquet survives a horrible opening game in the second set, giving points away like it was Xmas, including 3 DFs. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 12:53 PM |
Lynne great,except it started to rain heavily.So the beach scene where I do my Kylie had to be postponed.pfft. |
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Posted by just a note |
11/05/2009 at 12:55 PM |
me - thanks, though I don't believe that to be the case.
And, I think only he could say what his motivation was.
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Posted by Arun |
11/05/2009 at 12:56 PM |
12 years later we may come to know? ;) |
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Posted by just a note |
11/05/2009 at 12:57 PM |
Jamaica Karen - yes! Hope all goes well. |
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Posted by rafadoc |
11/05/2009 at 12:58 PM |
I just saw that Ferrer had to pull out of Valencia. I haven't heard what the problem is but the commentators were saying he is not going to Paris either. Yikes. It might be the knee. I wonder if he will be able to participate in DC. Not looking good. Feel bad for him. |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 12:58 PM |
"pete hates fed with a white hot passion."
No he doesn't. This was just an embarrassingly bad attempt at humor. |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 12:59 PM |
Aussiemarg,
That is too bad. Will you get another chance? |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:04 PM |
Lynne Yes,we are waiting to hear when the producer of the video can complete.I am still up at the Central Coast of Sydney which is about 1 1/2hrs drive.It all depends on the weather though.Forecast isnt too good here for the next couple of days though. |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 01:04 PM |
JohnC,
Why would Pete hate Fed? There is nothing to dislike about him, let alone hate. |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 01:06 PM |
Lynne, he doesn't hate Fed -- that was a quote from another poster which I was correcting (hence the quote marks). |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 01:08 PM |
Well, stupid me! Must stop for more strong coffee. |
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Posted by Coby |
11/05/2009 at 01:10 PM |
2010 Fed Cup QFs 6/7 Feb 2010
World Group
Ukraine vs Italy [Kharkiv, Ukraine]
Czech Republic vs Germany [Brno, CZE]
Serbia vs Russia [Belgrade, Serbia]
France vs USA [Lievin, France]
World Group II
Australia vs Spain [Adelaide, Australia]
Poland vs Belgium [Bydgoszcz, Poland]
Estonia vs Argentina [Tallinn, Estonia]
Slovakia vs China [Bratislava, Slovakia] |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:10 PM |
Pete is a New Age Guy,he loves everyone. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:12 PM |
Adelaide???? must be using those Memorial drive courts,ahhhhhh! |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 01:13 PM |
Meanwhile Troicki claims the second set against Cilic in what looks like a very hard-fought match.
6-7(7) 7-6(8) |
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Posted by Coby |
11/05/2009 at 01:14 PM |
AM,
Nice guess . . . that's what it says, Memorial Drive, outdoor hard courts |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:15 PM |
I will be interested to hear what The little Aussie battler has to say lol! |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:17 PM |
Why cant they use Grass courts? forgot Spain can play on grass now since they slowed it down for the clay court players lol! |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:20 PM |
Well that exludes my idol Borg of course. |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 01:26 PM |
Isner survives two BPs to take the second set to a TB. |
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Posted by mick1303 |
11/05/2009 at 01:32 PM |
I had a feeling that Pete was not entirely sober, while writing this peace. Clear signs of being carried away... |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 01:35 PM |
My thought exactly, mick, though I politely refrained from saying so :-) |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:35 PM |
I am a bit surprised with Marin,he hasnt been playing all that well lately,condsidering his great results prior.Maybe he is tired. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:37 PM |
Maybe Pete is getting in early with Christmas just around the corner.
Spreading good cheer is comendable lol! |
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Posted by crazyone |
11/05/2009 at 01:38 PM |
Great play from both guys in this tiebreak... |
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Posted by Grant |
11/05/2009 at 01:38 PM |
"This was just an embarrassingly bad attempt at humor."
I dunno, I quite enjoyed the 'northern suburb of Detroit' line. |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 01:39 PM |
Think you were right the first time, AM. Maybe he is still in Halloween mode! |
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Posted by Babe |
11/05/2009 at 01:40 PM |
What a great tie-break btwn Isner & Gasquet--Allez Gasquest! |
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Posted by Eric |
11/05/2009 at 01:40 PM |
Where is everyone watching the Isner match? |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 01:41 PM |
And Gasquet takes the second set tiebreak with some great play by both men. Isner is playing much better than when I first saw him at Legg Mason. But I do like watching Gasquet's wonderful backhand. |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 01:43 PM |
Good for Gasquet!!! |
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Posted by zenggi |
11/05/2009 at 01:44 PM |
Good afternoon,
Nice post, Pete.
About Gerry Weber. Gerry isn't the guy who invented the barbecue grill. Au contraire, Gerhard is a very succesful fashion designer.
http://www.house-of-gerryweber.de/index_GW_de.html
Not that I think Pete would know anything about fashion, though. I saw him with an orange checkered shirt not so long ago on TW.
Yay for Verdasco, Marco and Novak! |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:44 PM |
I am in love with Richards b/hand
its a joy to watch. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:48 PM |
Hi Zenggi
Orange is very "in" these days you know
Pete also knows a lot about "shoes" as well
He certainly isnt "one di-mensional" at all. |
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Posted by off topic |
11/05/2009 at 01:49 PM |
Please do something about viruses that are swarming on this site. My home computer has been infected with a number of viruses. |
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Posted by Babe |
11/05/2009 at 01:50 PM |
Boy=--have I missed that BACKHAND! |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 01:50 PM |
woot, woot. Gasquet takes the second of three breakpoints. 2-1 in the third. |
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Posted by zenggi |
11/05/2009 at 01:51 PM |
Hi AM,
With all due respect. Pete knows naught about fashion.
How was your shooting? |
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Posted by Slice-n-Dice |
11/05/2009 at 01:53 PM |
I'm assuming this is all tongue-in-cheek stuff, Pete, because one really cannot fault Federer for knowing which side his bread is buttered on and who supplies the butter now, can we? I mean, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be tapping out these blog posts as heartily and regularly as you do were it not to support some "stretch objective" penciled into your performsance review by James Martin or Steve Tignor (aka TENNIS Magazine editors in charge).
As for Davis Cup, we do realize that Federer has played more Davis Cup matches (48 total) than even our own esteemed Andy Roddick (31), don't we? The fact that he hasn't been seen in a semifinal or final tie is all just happenstance, isn't it? |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 01:54 PM |
zenggi Well it went great,then started to rain pfft.So the last scene,My starring scene by the way was cancelled.We are waiting on the producer of the video when we can complete the last scene. |
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Posted by zenggi |
11/05/2009 at 01:57 PM |
Am,
Does it mean you have to go through the whole Kylie moves again? :)
Come on, Richard. |
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Posted by Arun |
11/05/2009 at 01:58 PM |
will the Gasquet match be archived on e360? |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 02:00 PM |
zenggi As a "artist" one is always trying to perfect ones moves. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 02:01 PM |
Calm down Robbie
Single hand b/hand down the line with ease?
Ok Richard please. |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 02:02 PM |
And Gasquet gets another break 4-1. Wheels have come off the Isner serve juggernaut, plus he keeps hitting to one of the best b/hands in the business. |
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Posted by Babe |
11/05/2009 at 02:02 PM |
If only Gasquet had a little confidence, a little self-belief to go along with all this talent. If only. |
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Posted by zenggi |
11/05/2009 at 02:02 PM |
Got it, AM.
By the way "orange" is not IN in Europe at all, at all. :)
That bakhand down the line was beautiful, Richard. Not in Roger's league though, but nice anyway.
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 02:04 PM |
zenggi Well I love Orange regardless
Anway I am sick of seeing Pink everywhere. |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 02:06 PM |
That b/hand of Richards wasnt a easy shot at all,considering |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 02:07 PM |
Yes, I'm for orange, but I don't care too much for black or green. |
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Posted by Babe |
11/05/2009 at 02:08 PM |
Federer has been in a semifinal. He played the semifinal of Davis Cup, in 03, against Hewitt in Australia--was up two sets & a break and gagged it away. |
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Posted by Master Ace |
11/05/2009 at 02:11 PM |
Marin just saved at least 2 match pts in the TB at 6-4. 6-all TB now final set |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 02:12 PM |
Allez Richard well done |
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Posted by Aussiemarg,Madame President,Allez Paris,scared |
11/05/2009 at 02:13 PM |
bad luck John. |
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Posted by greenhopper |
11/05/2009 at 02:15 PM |
Marin comes out as a mental giant winning a tough 3-setter. Imagine that.
Arun, e360 has archived Gasquet-Isner. |
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Posted by Master Ace |
11/05/2009 at 02:17 PM |
Jacko,
I thought Yanina was only going to be warned for not being available to get drug tested. My day job is not letting me read the translation.
Marin did win the match winning 8-6 in final set TB at Basel |
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Posted by ladyjulia |
11/05/2009 at 02:17 PM |
Babe,
True..wasn't that DC cup tie in honor of Peter Carter? |
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Posted by Babe |
11/05/2009 at 02:17 PM |
The Agassi factor, may be? |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 02:18 PM |
Jacko nothing is more certain to Donald Duck Typepad than that kind of link. Tiny URL, please. It's not rocket science. |
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Posted by Babe |
11/05/2009 at 02:19 PM |
Yea MA--Roger lost it emotionally as well--he cried & cried cos his parents (Peter's) were in the crowd. |
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Posted by ladyjulia |
11/05/2009 at 02:19 PM |
MA..I can post the translation here:
"The Flemish Doping Tribunal has the tennis Yanina Wickmayer and Xavier Malisse suspended Thursday for one years. Wickmayer had drie keer via de zogenaamde whereabouts verzuimd haar verblijfplaats op te geven aan de antidopinginstanties. Wickmayer had three editions the whereabouts of his residence failed to comply with the anti-doping authorities. Malisse beging die overtreding twee keer maar miste ook een controle. Malisse twice committed the violation but also missed a check." |
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Posted by Master Ace |
11/05/2009 at 02:20 PM |
Jacko,
Unfortunately, you are correct on Yanina being suspended for one year and must leave Bali as tennisforum.com has posted the news and I was able to get the translation. |
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Posted by Jacko (Private Detective) Kim FTW!!!!!!!!! |
11/05/2009 at 02:20 PM |
this is it MA......very poor translation though.....
Malisse suspended tennis and Wickmayer
BRUSSEL - BRUSSELS -- The Flemish Doping Tribunal has the tennis Yanina Wickmayer and Xavier Malisse suspended Thursday for one years. Wickmayer had three editions the whereabouts of his residence failed to comply with the anti-doping authorities. Malisse beging die overtreding twee keer maar miste ook een controle. Malisse twice committed the violation but also missed a check. |
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Posted by CL |
11/05/2009 at 02:21 PM |
uh-oh Jacko - now ya gone and broke it. |
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Posted by Babe |
11/05/2009 at 02:21 PM |
"Jacko nothing is more certain to Donald Duck Typepad than that kind of link. Tiny URL, please. It's not rocket science."
The article is also 100% jibberish--no speaky de engilish. |
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Posted by Arun |
11/05/2009 at 02:22 PM |
Thanks for the info, GH. Appreciate it. |
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Posted by Alexis |
11/05/2009 at 02:23 PM |
ladyjulia, yes, that was the first time that Australia and Switzerland played in a DC match since Peter Carter died. I think they called it the 'Peter Carter Cup' or something. Didn't they say it would always be called that whenever the two countries meet in DC from now on? I can't remember.
Anyway, that was a devastating loss for Fed. Roger was so brokenhearted and had a private conversation with Peter Carter's parents afterwards where he was able to let out all his pain over Peter's death with them. Peter's parents still come and watch Roger play at the AO every year.
Interesting that Roger has never lost to Hewitt since. |
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Posted by CL |
11/05/2009 at 02:23 PM |
and I agree with whatever has got this site by the scruff of the neck lately- all the redirections to the yellow pages. bleah. I would suspect my own system, but this is the only site that it happens on.
I dunno Grant - 1 out of 23 isn't so hot. Though I like the fashion vs meth bit. So 2 out of 23. |
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Posted by CL |
11/05/2009 at 02:25 PM |
That Trotsky/Marin match must be, (have been?), really something too. |
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Posted by CL |
11/05/2009 at 02:27 PM |
Jacko - tinyurl goes over my tinyhead too. |
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Posted by Jacko (Private Detective) Kim FTW!!!!!!!!! |
11/05/2009 at 02:29 PM |
its surprisingly difficult CL :P
anyways...if people think it'll break typepad...or its not necessary i suppose i'll just keep my links to myself and people can wait the extra day for the ticker to update it..... |
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Posted by Lynne (Rafalite) |
11/05/2009 at 02:30 PM |
My computer picked up a virus from this site the other day which was healed but I'm still being re-directed to the yellow pages occasionally. It never happens on any other site. |
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Posted by JohnC |
11/05/2009 at 02:32 PM |
Just go to
http://tinyurl.com/
and follow the one sentence instruction.
Stan on the board. |
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Posted by ladyjulia |
11/05/2009 at 02:34 PM |
Alexis..yes, i think he mentioned he used to lose to Hewitt because of fitness. But, still leading two sets and a break. Hewitt was always a fighter. |
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